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Evers Incompetence lotteries

MADISON — Still on the fence about getting the COVID-19 poke? Looking for a little injection incentive like the $1 million Vax-a-Million lottery Ohio Republican Guv Mike DeWine is running?

Well, don’t look for a big COVID vaccination payout in Wisconsin anytime soon. While Gov. Tony Evers says DeWine is “quite a leader,” he’s not going to drop millions of federal relief dollars on a statewide lottery exclusively for Badger State residents who get their COVID shot.

As legislative Republicans will tell you, nobody — not even Evers — is quite sure where the Democrat is going to spend the $2.5 billion in American Rescue Plan Act money.

But we do suggest that Evers create a lottery for the many Wisconsinites he has failed over the run of the pandemic.

How about a lottery led by the Department of Workforce Development? Winning Unemployment Insurance claimants could quickly collect the benefits owed them — unlike the tens of thousands forced to wait months for their claims to be processed. The odds of a “winning” would be about the same as hitting the actual lottery.

Perhaps a lottery for some of our most vulnerable? In this game of chance, Evers’ Department of Health Services would actually make sure a lucky resident at a Wisconsin assisted living facility isn’t kept waiting for COVID-19 vaccinations.

Or, the Meal Lottery. School children matching tickets wouldn’t be lost in the Department of Public Instruction and DHS systems and these virtual school-failed students would get the food assistance they were promised.

And for reporters (any citizen, really), there’s the Records Lottery. In that one, the Evers administration actually follows state law and fills one lucky requester’s open records request.

As dysfunctional as this administration has been, the Evers Incompetence Lotteries would at least offer hope to some bureaucratically trapped Wisconsinites.

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