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Tool of the Week: Straw cop Milwaukee Alder Cavalier Johnson

Empower Wisconsin | Dec. 2, 2019

Hey, citizens of Milwaukee: Are you afraid to walk the streets of the 6th most violent city in America? 

Are you concerned that once again your city is one of the worst communities for African Americans to live? 

Worried your schools are failing wave after wave of students? 

Be not afraid. All is well. 

Milwaukee now has a ban on straws. 

That’s right. In its infinite wisdom, the Milwaukee Common Council has approved an ordinance prohibiting Milwaukee restaurants and bars from providing single-use, plastic beverage straws to its customers. 

The ban goes into effect on April 14, 2020.

Oh, but it’s not an outright ban, says ordinance sponsor Alderman Cavalier Johnson. Local establishments will be able to keep plastic straws on hand in case a customer requests one, WUWM reports. 

“To make sure that people who do have disabilities are not singled out. That they don’t have to carry papers on them to prove that they have some sort of a disability if they go to a restaurant and they request these straws, that they’ll be able to get them without any hassle,” Johnson told the news outlet. 

Customers who want a straw simply because they like drinking from a straw, however, are screwed. 

Johnson says it’s important that government give businesses a nudge in the right direction. 

And that right direction to virtue-signalling liberals like Johnson is about the false premise of saving the world’s oceans one plastic straw at a time. 

Milwaukee becomes the latest liberal city adopting vacuous straw restrictions, following such bastions of common sense as San Francisco and Seattle. While the laws might make the virtue-signalers feel all warm inside, they do nothing to save the sea turtles. 

As National Review reports, a 2015 study in the journal Science found that of the estimated 4.8 to 12.7 million metric tons of plastic that entered the ocean from 192 of the world’s coastal countries, as little as 0.9 percent of it came from the United States.

Now, you may ask what on earth does a straw ban have to do with making Milwaukee — many miles away from the nearest ocean — a less dangerous, better place to live? 

Nothing, of course. But don’t you feel better about the sea turtles? 

It takes a pretty useless tool to propose such obtuse legislation while his city burns around him. Alderman Cavalier Johnson is such a tool. 

Empower Wisconsin’s Tool of the Week. 

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